Tuesday, January 16, 2007

You Want a Piece of Me?

All morning long I've been having these fantasies.

I have them while I'm making coffee. In the bathroom. On the Métro.

I especially have them while I'm walking.

It's evening in the dream, and unseasonably warm. A tall stranger encircles me from behind, saying something in French that I cannot understand.

I turn around to face him, breathless, and realize that he's not alone.

Five men in total - all for me?

I smile to myself, step forward, and proceed to beat the EVER-LIVING CRAP out of them.




Hiiiiii-YAH!






I am flying through the air. Jaws are cracking. Noses shattering. I am wielding some kind of pipe. They are running. I am chasing.

THEY HAVE MESSED WITH THE WRONG GIRL!

(I got mugged last night)

In my dream it matters not that the expletives are in English. They know exactly what I mean when I ask if they're my bitch.

SAY IT!!

I am spent, at the end of it. I collect my things, smooth my skirt, and replace the earbuds on my iPod. I press play and step delicately over the bodies. And old man on a balcony nods approvingly. The night is cool on my cheeks - I am happy.

12 comments:

Day in bed said...

You got mugged last night? God, how awful. Are you ok?

Adrian said...

I've been having really weird dreams lately, too. The other night I was attacked by Nazis, then escaped by transporting myself to a dimension somewhat similar to our own. The other night it was a guy that kept attacking me, then when I killed him, he reanimated each time to come back for more. And last night I got hammered by about 15 sdf's. Strange. I'm not mentioning the really nasty one from the other night that came true the next day, though..

amy said...

Meg! How awful! What happened? Are you all right?

Lady K said...

I hope you are okay!

I totally understand about the Tank Girl fantasies. But I had a friend who took a model mugging course. She was mugged in Vancouver and broke one guys arm and poured lighter fluid on the other. Unfortunately, she got the harsher sentence, even though she was just protecting her self.. so sometimes it's best just to fantasize about kicking the shit out of people...

I seriously hope you are okay though... Blog soon and let us know..

Robyn said...

Holy crap...well you must be all right if you're a-blogging, but still, ARE YOU OKAY HUGHUGHUG?@!!@?

:[

If I got mugged in Paris, I definitely wouldn't miss it as much.

I can totally imagine you as anime chick with random blue lines in the background. Blue lines of ..."I can beat the crap out of you"-ness.

Tin Foiled said...

Holy crap, Le Meg! I hope you're doing alright... I'm so sorry (but I bet the dismembered guys in your dreams are even sorrier).

Anonymous said...

the streets of paris used to be ok, but for the last two years, it seems that violence is back.. I hope you are doing ok.

david

Alice said...

I am so sorry to hear this too, Meg! I have seen and heard of several incidents like this over the past year, and my apartment was burgled last summer... So it does SEEM like things like this are happening more now, but maybe that's just an impression. I live in the suburbs, and I've been told by so many that it doesn't necessarily matter where you live; it really happens everywhere.

How awful... I'm sending you good thoughts and vibes and I really hope you're OK. I know it must be hard to put this behind you; maybe spending some good times with friends will help some? Take care of yourself.

MsLittlePea said...

what?! Mugged? How awful for you! Hope you're ok! Poor you.

aralena said...

God - I'm really sorry to hear that you were mugged. I hope you weren't hurt. Having been followed and physically harassed in Paris myself, the most important recovery is in your mind (as I'm sure you know).

And telling someone off in English is way more cathartic than trying to conjugate "foutrer." You do what you gotta do!

rion said...

MUGGED? you got mugged??? where were you? :X

...hug via internet today, hug in person on saturday night, french-mugger-manhunt first thing very early on sunday morning.

le Meg said...

I'm fine, you sweet things.

It was humiliating, but it's over.

If I hadn't been mugged, then I wouldn't have had the experience of hearing "Miami Vice" as my cop's ring tone at the police station.

Every cloud has a silver lining...