Friday, March 07, 2008

My Roots are Showing

Facebook, that beautiful timesuck, seems to have developed a new application. It's called "Find Your High School Friends & Freak Them Out."

This has been happening a lot recently. The most recent high school alum to find me was - whew! - someone I actually liked.

More often, it's an unfamiliar name along with a message that offers no clues - "Hey there! What have you been up to??"

All this has led me to unearth The Yearbook.

It'd been a long time since I'd cracked this open, and I'd forgotten about the hair. I dare say, my high school companions may have had the Best Bangs of All Time.

I'm from Kansas, you see. And this is how we roll:

I'd like to claim that I was too cool for this trend, but the evidence shows otherwise:

Bonus points if you can name that grape-scented hair product in the corner.

DOUBLE bonus if you still own a pair of white shorts.

Anyway, the best part of unearthing The Yearbook has been re-reading the old signatures. From one classmate:

Good luck at Gay-U [KU], you pinko-commie baby-killin' fag-lovin' tree-huggin' Hillary worshippin' media mackin' flower-powerin' band wagon jumpin' U2 lovin' feminazi left wing LIBERAL!!! Call me this summer. We'll PARTY!!!
Did she have my number, or what?

The boy I was crazy about - the one who took me to Homecoming and then dumped my ass - brought my yearbook home one night in order to write something special. The next morning at school he delivered this:

You can see why I adored him.

The best, though, are the banalities. While I seem to remember a lot of hanging out in the Taco Bell parking lot, everyone else says we partied hard and had a total blast (!!!).

It must be true.


Princesse Ecossaise said...

Heehee! The dog cracks me up!

Speaking of hair do's...apparently the perm is making its comeback! Oh nooooooooo!

amy said...

The boy guesses Aussie Scrunch Spray? (He still has some.) I, on the other hand, was always of the hippie persuasion, and never let product touch my virgin locks.

Anonymous said...

Gads NOT THER PERM AGAIN! *runs screaming into the hills*

Big hair--wowee--that takes me back
Beau in Seattle

Jules said...

The entire back of my bathroom door was like wet varish from that stuff. I think my hair was nearly two feet across when I really worked it up. sigh. I miss big hair. I thought it made me look thin.

Aimee said...

I had forgotten about the high bangs and big hair. Ah!

Someone guessed it but I think that purple bottle is Aussie Spray. I used that in junior high to make my hair rock hard.

maitresse said...

oh wowwwww, blast from the past... I had the exact same haircut! short, permed hair, and oh the bangs, oh the shame.

Adrian said...

scary shit

Misplaced said...

Did BJH ever explain the burning penis on the burning dog?

Ms. Glaze said...

This is why I will never join Facebook. It's not that I don't want others to see my yearly High School transitions from preppy, to punk rock, to Grateful Deadhead – it's that I don't want to be reminded of them. Talk about hair trama, oh la la la la.

I think I saw a French teenager wearing those white shorts. And I'm sure I saw a pair of Wayfayer's on every single adolescent today.

And, the perm is back. Officially.

BFF, Ms. Glaze

Omyword! said...

I'm dyin' over here. I had the perm. And (choke) Laura Ashley dresses. What was I THINKING?

My high school "chums" sought me out recently, so I got on their Yahoo list and started a riot, about which they are still fighting...while I sit in Paris with my commie pinko dirty hippie friends. My high school pals were trashing the dirty Mexicans in America who "refuse" to learn English and "refuse" to work and suck up all the emergency medical attention. Well...I just couldn't stand by and be, er, polite about that.

Too bad about your high school flame. (wow - I did that without pun intended, but I should have intended) I think he may have had potential. Or, an overzealous image of himself.