Everyone has one true specialty in life. Mine is the vagina.
Measuring the number of vaginas in
In the States, this was a big hit. So imagine my surprise upon learning that such frivolity is not appreciated in
The French, as I have deduced from 26 months of careful observation, prefer to talk about "culture." Sigh...
Because I cannot beat them, I have decided to join them. I shall cleanse my filthy mouth and learn to pepper my speech with words like vernissage - which almost sounds gynecological.
You may be wondering how exactly I plan to pull this off. In fact, dear reader, it's quite easy. You need only a child-like sense of curiosity, access to the internet, and abundant coffee. A total lack of shame helps, too.
Just last week, for example, I attended two concerts, five expos, one play, a lit-mag launch, an I V Y event, and a Parisist gathering. I chatted up a sculptor, a comp lit dude, even an actors' boyfriend. Distracted by their own plastic cups, they barely noticed as I spun my web of inanity and pried the info from their arty little brains.
For your benefit, I should add.
In addition to the aforementioned mission (being a better dinner guest), I will soon be transmitting my findings via Expatica, a website for anglophone expats in
To effectuate my transformation into Hack of All Trades, I welcome your suggestions. There may come a time when my knowledge of classical music exceeds that of the cervix. Until that day arrives, I could use a Henry Higgins or ten.
13 comments:
I heard about the IVY event! Sounded interesting, I'll have to make sure I get my name in early next time...
I think I need to hear the Cooter Boogie.
Thank you for the good laugh--Dave
you just tell me this afternoon that you're not a girl and now you're a walking, talking vagina?
ok, I know, judith butler would have a conniption if she read that statement, what with its easy equation of vagina with girl. Call me a bad gender critic but the two are generally found to coincide...
Hmm. I'm not sure you should be allowed to chat up all these arty people when you are not on the market, missy. Perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement where you give out my number?
i feel like we have reached a new low here. when all else fails, "talk crotch"--c'est ca? and i don't know what americans you are hanging with, but if the standard is the ability to talk about vaginas at the dinner table, then, well, need i say more. bring back the funny stuff girl!
Stop trying to provoke me, andy.
What's funnier than a crotch?
andy didn't write that. honest.
Lol this post cracks me up. I vote for an audioblog of "Cooter Boogie".
Looking forward to your first What's On column...
For me, it's the photo that makes this post - WHERE did you find it??
thought you weren't into Bush....
someone say something about giving out numbers?...
I bet you can't wait for The Vagina Monologues to hit Paris - you will have gone full-circle.
(Of course if TVM has already hit Paris, you may have misconstrued the signals. There may be no Parisian qualms about discussing vaginae. They may have thought your cultural references were a little out of date.)
well, what about a girl who's the victim of her vagina?
Question to Mr Freud!
it seems that Paris get craziness to everyone this days!
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