Fun with Gmail

I tend to use Gmail as a sort of notebook if I'm online and can't be bothered to look for paper. As a result, I currently have 154 draft emails that contain scribbles in various stages. I just took a moment to sift through a pile of these and came across this electronic scrap:

there is no way jenny is a guidance counselor

blowjob in the car

wichita kansas!! they don't play lacrosse in wichita.

half a million hits - ha!

tilly and the wall

I will be mightily impressed with anyone who can make sense of this and name the subject matter. Any guesses?

....................

Ding-ding-ding! The relatively anonymous "J" has hit the nail on the head. Those electronic half-rants were made while watching the first episode of the new 90210.

A few annotations to the original list:

there is no way jenny is a guidance counselor.

By "jenny" I of course meant Kelly (Jenni Garth), who in the original series was a bit of a hayride. I have a hard time accepting that she's now shaping minds in a public school. On the other hand, she was always very self-aware and had a way with words. Remember when she told Brandon that "I don't know if I should let myself feel the feelings that I'm starting to feel, think the things that I'm thinking..." ? Ok, I didn't either. But this Brandon + Kelly Appreciation Site totally reminded me.

blowjob in the car

Remember the old show, and how Donna's dyslexia was considered a hot plot line? One of the first scenes in the updated 90210 finds Annie, a new transplant from the midwest, spying her old summer fling in the school parking lot. Sounds a bit like Grease, no? Annie/Sandy squeals and runs over to the SUV just as a girl, who had previously been making out under Ethan's dock, raises up and wipes her chin. Whamma whamma whamma huh!

wichita kansas!! they don't play lacrosse in wichita.

Annie's brother Dixon (full name Dixon Wilson, aka the posh British accountancy firm who fired Petite Anglaise), is excited to bring his lacrosse skills - which he honed back in Wichita - to the new high school team. Now, maybe they roll a little differently down in Wichita, but anybody in Kansas City who admitted even knowing what lacrosse was (much less excelling at it) was likely to get his ass beat. Hollywood writers: don't be so sloppy! I'm happy to offer my services as a flyover culture consultant. Just the same as you do for cop shows, but with spit cups instead of guns.

half a million hits - ha!

This one is my favorite. The character Silver has a gossipgurlesque blog in which she trashes her fellow students at West Beverly. Annie is horrified to be the subject of one malicious post that generates "half a million hits in one day!" OMG. Not even Gizmodo or Mu Foo get that much traffic.

tilly and the wall

The suits weren't skimping when it came to music for 90210. Left and right these kids are dropping the names of bands that I love. Tilly and the Wall, Vampire Weekend, Sea Wolf - when will it end? Either I've become corporate and mainstream, or they've picked someone with my exact LastFM compatability rating to be their musical hack. Maybe I can undercut them by combining music and hick consultancy in one affordable package. I know - "mus-hick"!

Excuse me while I go and register that domain name...

90210 Trailor: "If you want to live in the zip, you gotta live by the code"